Transformers 3 Dark of the Moon is so poor a movie, you just have to see it in 3-D. Read that again; the only saving grace of this disjointed, clunky film is the medium of its expression. The robots are so massive and stunningly-rendered that they actually do the 3-D special effects justice, and are surpassed only by James Cameron’s Avatar. Of course, there do the comparisons come to a screeching halt, much like metal-on-metal.
Where Avatar shone like a sun, Transformers Dark of the Moon exploded like a star, except it did it again and again. With no rhyme or reason as to character motivations and sequential glue, it ran roughshod over our senses with inane comedic attempts and petulant acting. Oh; and buttocks and such, especially in the opening scene of Cybertron.
Sam’s (Shia Labeouf) girlfriend (new actress Rosie Huntington-Whiteley) walked into the room in dazzlingly-spare apparel, much to the delight of the male portion of the movie theater and the envy of most of the female half – although in truth, it was more like an 80/20 split, as can be expected for a movie about giant alien robots from Cybertron.
“If this was having my name on it, I was determined to make it technically perfect,” Mr. Michael Bay said in a telephone interview with a journalist from the New York Times. This highlights the problem with the movie on the robots from Cybertron: technical perfection as the primary consideration for a movie is not the way to go (although, in a practical sense, it is these kinds of movies Bay is hired to make, and they might cost big bucks, but they also bring them in), at the expense of sacrificing the tying together of disparate scenes.
We settle for this when a plot is clearly out of the question. That said, Transformers Dark of the Moon is truly spectacular in 3-Dimensional filming and, frankly, is the only real reason to go see it. The novel sky-jumpers they used in the film glide right out of the screen and into your life, when viewed in 3-D, and the robots seem like they could touch – or blast – you right out of the theater. I’m surprised that wasn’t written into the movie.
We are shortly coming upon the latest Transformers movie – directed yet again by Michael Bay – where the magnificent Dinobots make an appearance. The trailers and previews show the mighty Grimlock in full metallic regalia, with a battle-hardened Optimus Prime riding him into battle with the latest threat from the dead planet Cybertron. It will be one heck of a ride.
